Affirming Miracles

Years ago I started down the road toward the law of attraction the way many others did, by listening to Louise Hay, Shakti Gawain and Anthony Robbins. Truthfully affirmations have helped me immensely on many levels which leads me to believe that they can be valuable.

What do you do when the affirmations don't take? Because some of them cannot take root. That is a hard truth because we want to believe that it really can just be that easy. Last year I found myself in the space of using this affirmation: life is easy while finding myself more and more resistant to it. I finally sat down with someone who knows me really well, to see what I might be missing in my exploration.

His response as a long time part of my world shouldn't have surprised me but it did; as I have spent my whole life working for everything I got there is still a part of me that doesn't believe that life is easy for me. I believe it is getting easier. Yes. Yes, I do! There are however enough things beyond my control that need to be changed for me to know that life is not necessarily easy. I was also fighting a money affirmation, which is so not helpful.

So with all that in mind I picked up Sark's Inspiration Sandwich and took a bite. Luckily for me on page 25 the words leaped right off the page and up at me.

"Learn to step lightly from one miracle to the next. Feeling rich is available to anyone, at anytime. Especially you!"

I have been less worried about money since I stopped panicking, started saying yes more often and been willing to enjoy experiences on the off chance that they won't all be the same. Miracles happen. They have happened to me more than once. I may not feel that life is easy but (there I go again!) I can, with confidence move from miracle to miracle with the knowledge that they exist.

What affirmation do you need to recreate? How can recreating a non-working affirmation help move you forward?

Say Yes To You!

Today is the day.

Now.

Open your arms.

Take a deep breath.

Step into into it.
Walk with me and together, we will 

Are there important things you need to say yes to?

Are you ready? Take my hand and let's go!

My 2014 Life List

Per the usual, I don't make resolutions I write life lists. After all, a life is never too long to get things done! This year has been updated to reflect many of the changes that happened as of the middle of 2013 that at first seemed like the end of the world yet seemed to have turned out to be the beginning.... In no particular order:

1) Get passport (I know, I know, this one has been on the to-do list too long!)

2) meet more of my Joy sisters in real life

3) deepen my yoga practice

4) Visit New York

5) restart my jewelry business the way I want to
6) Get back to N'Awlins 

7) get a new bicycle
8) Visit chocolate museum in Spain
9) Learn wing chun
10) visit Alaska, make preserves and fairy magic with Laura and Heather
11) Move to a new apartment
12) Catch up on classes!

13) Sell more art

14) Eat dessert at Pierre Herme
15) Attend a tea class at Heaven's Tea School and Mariage Frere
16) learn more about herbs
17) get out of debt
18) Visit a tea plantation
19) Eat at Mystic Pizza
20) Get deeper into painting and art

21) Learn to crochet clothes

22) finish writing my novel
23)  Own my own tea and dessert shop
24) Travel to Greece
25) Eat street food in Barcelona and Madrid
26) Eat and drink in France
27) fall in love again
28) get better at selling myself as the awesome person I am
29) Learn (better) French
30) take up archery
31) be a world traveler
32) Eat lobster rolls on the East Coast
33) Eat my way through Portland (actually, working on this now!)

34) Remember to surrender

35) Revisit Seattle and actually go where I want
36) See the tulips in Amsterdam
37) Visit Santa Fe
38) Visit the Caribbean
39) Become proficient in Hungarian pastry
40) visit Vancouver!
41) See the Pyramids
42) Visit the Hermitage
43) Make my own liqueur/Make my own bitters
44) Learn to play piano
45) Record an album of my music
46) Publish a cookbook (or two. Or three)
47) Learn to swim well

48) Take a train trip
49) Create a clothing line for women

50) Host my own TV show "Lost Desserts of the World"
58) sword fighting/knife throwing
51) Be a lounge singer
52) Eat at August
53) Eat at Herbfarm
54) Learn to make Thai Food

55) Start a shoe line for women with longer feet.
56) Visit Savannah and eat fried shrimp (Thank you, Patricia!)
57) cook my way through my favorite books

Nourish The Soul

As a rule, it isn't something that we as a society are good at. We are often neglectful not only of those around us but of ourselves. I have been reminded this last month about the cost of such behavior. Without soul nourishment we get isolated, hungry and tired. It seems to me that the holidays would be the perfect time to find joy, to laugh, to love and yet so many of us are anxious and worried instead, mostly about things so far beyond our control that they are in the end irrelevant.

 

This quote from Thomas Moore really struck me the first time I heard it for that very reason: the soul is not a problem. The soul is just fine. We are the problem, running from moment to moment without seeing it or feeling the joy, the sadness, the life that comes with each one. That is life. The moments that accumulate around us while we wait for life to happen. While we stress about every little thing that is going wrong we are missing out on all that is right. We forget, we don't forgive. We push the pieces of the puzzle in even if they don't fit. This holiday, I'm not playing by anyone elses rules. Newp. I will nourish myself and my soul by whatever means necessary. That may mean eating at strange hours or walking four miles just to get my energy centered. 

What will you do to nourish yourself? Really nourish yourself? Because, baby, your soul is waiting.

Letter from a (formerly) Broken Heart

Start dismantling your life at the end of a relationship and you will discover more about yourself than at any other time, except for perhaps illness. All those uncomfortable things that have been ignored, all those compromises you were determined never to make. The feeling that your heart has been ripped out and your guts are dripping on the floor for the whole damn world to see, even as you try desperately to hold it together.

Start clearing your computer, deleting and moving files over and you will discover all the projects you never got to, all the classes and calls you downloaded but never listened to. All that space that was taken up games that took up way more time than was really necessary.

Start clearing out your apartment, after you have still been living together, and see the truth that eventually pulled you apart: this person that was once your love has been in a relationship with themselves for a long time, and it hasn't been going well. No matter how much you might be loved, the spirit has fallen apart so badly that it may never be put back together. Or at least that is the impression that is being gotten.

While you've been busily hiding out from joy, from possibility, from life, everything in your world has been deeply affected. Just keep thinking I should have left sooner or I wish this could be fixed and see how far that gets you. Pay attention to the shock that registers on peoples faces when you respond to their "You haven't together that long" with an answer of thirteen years. They cannot quite comprehend it, all those years and now it is all over, time to move on.

Know that those shoulds are not helping you. They don't change the past. Know that now is the perfect time to give yourself all the things you have been longing for; that deep love and understanding. That truth that includes accepting yourself for all that you are and not worrying about all that you are not. Now is the time to get real forgiveness, to get honest with yourself and get down with love. There is so much out there waiting for you and it isn't in the form of another person. It's in the form of you, becoming your self at long last.

Know that it happened at this time for a reason. Maybe it was all timing. Maybe it was because you have so many amazing people in your life who were there when you needed them most. Maybe it's because whatever is waiting for you is finally ready and needs you be ready, too. Maybe it is to serve as a reminder that things can change dramatically and for the better in a short span of time.

Be gifted with the opportunity to recurate your life (hat tip to Jennifer, that has been my motto for a while now!) and then do it. Don't wait to get trapped by yourself again. Don't look for love outside of yourself until you have rekindled the love inside.

Don't ever forget that you are so much more than you have ever dreamed for yourself and that is just exactly what is waiting on the other side.

Don't forget that I love you. And that you will always be perfect.

Longings

"It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and must hunger after them." George Eliot

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What is it about longings that makes us look away in nervous fear? That moment when the thing we desire becomes a far away, impossible dream to be locked up in the heart and never discussed or shared?

I am willing to confess, with sadness, that there has been a lot of burying of desire around here. A lack of joyfilled moments. Stress and worry about money, food, living, thriving has sucked the joy so far out of us that we can no longer face the struggle.

It was in the midst of this heartbreak that I started the Joy Up. I did Spirits of Joy and the Summer Solstice cleanse with some success and uplifting. Yet the same things have been coming up again and again. Money, frustration with various aspects of life, lack of forward movement and opportunity.

Last week a friend from my entrepreneur classes asked if I still get excited about my work and my dream business. Imagine her face when I said 'No. I don't let myself get excited any more."

I don't let myself get excited.

So what else am I not letting myself get excited about?

One of the prompts in the Joy Up was to write a list of longings. Reading other peoples lists and watching the video prompt opened a flood gate. Two pages and a poem later, my clarity is that this is an area of my life that needs more attention. I've been looking for signs the last few days (go left here, drive three blocks, in the center lies your destination) even though I know that life is never that clear, there is a part of me that has been hopeful. Hopeful that things will get clearer, that life will ease up a bit, that my dreams can still be realized.

Longings, to me, look like a huge road sign. Ignoring my desires didn't make them go away. It didn't even make them lessen. It just made me more hungry. You know what happens when you are hungry? You buy junk food, you say mean things, you spend a lot of time tired, sad, lonely, and unclear. My soul is hungry. Your soul is hungry.

What are you longing for that you have chosen to ignore? Today might be a really good day to wake up those desires, have a little chat with them and see which ones will bring you to the place you long to be. Because ignoring desires doesn't kill them. It kills us.

The Longings of the Silent Soul

I long to dance with wild abandon amidst the shifting sands of a gorgeous beach, twirling my skirts and singing my songs

I long to stand on a balcony looking up at the Eiffel Tower at midnight with a glass of the finest champagne

I long to feel so loved and so loving that my heart might burst open, spilling forth more joy than I ever dreamed possible

All this and more

I long to be recognized, seen and celebrated, mostly by my own self

I long to feel close to the divine in all her glory, knowing that she put me here to shine so bright that those around me need sunshades

I long for ease in every moment, long to give up struggle, of taking a deep breath, bringing ease in, everyday

All this and so much more

I long to forgive myself and those who hurt me

I long to live decadently, luxuriously, in sanctuary, exactly as that means to me

I long to be fluid like water, to tell my story, to allow myself to be sacred and know that I am a spark of divine fire

S.M. Raven (c) 2013

Creating a Remarkable Life

 “It is precisely because we resist the darkness in ourselves that we miss the depths of the loveliness, beauty, brilliance, creativity, and joy that lie at our core.” 

-Thomas Moore, Dark Night of the Soul

***** ***** ***** *****

I've been thinking a lot about my birthday. Not the one I just had. One that is coming up. The reason is a comment about not being where I thought be at 38. My friend, in perfect curiosity asked 'Where did you think you would be?'

It wasn't a good feeling to realize that I had no answer. It was a worse feeling to realize that I've been saying that for years yet never had a vision of what my life would look like. A lack of vision isn't something to go through life without. Each and everyday we are here in the world, trying to live day by day. It's just that I am starting to really feel like that has barely kept me going the first half of my life so it sure as hell is not going to work for the second half.

What should my life look like? What should 40 and beyond look like? Well, the good news is I have two years to work through that second question. The first question is being answered now. The other day it hit me that if I start cleaning as though I'm moving it will be easier to pare down things that don't need to move forward with me into the future, especially if there is no longer a connection.

So I'm going to go with another Thomas Moore quote 'Surrender to your stuckness.' Because stuckness is dark, sticky, annoying and more of a work out than I really need right now, but resistance is darker and feels like quicksand. Because stuckness is scary and makes my heart beat faster, but at least I can feel it. Surrender to this moment, to whatever changes are coming, to stuck, to sticky, to dark. Surrender.

It is never too late for a better life, a beautiful life, a more meaningful life. So long as you start where you are, there is always a chance for more. How does any of this create a remarkable life? By leaning into the discovery. Dancing in the arms of intuition, crying, laughing, clearing away clutter, painting, taking pictures. Creating a vision board, starting with a Pinterest board. Creating a remarkable life means opening up to all possibilities, not just the ones I might secretly hope for. Better yet, taking those secret yearnings out of the closet, shaking them out and putting them on.

Are you looking to create a more remarkable life? What steps are you putting in place to make this happen? Share in the comments!

 

Here It Comes...A Better Version of Me

"I am likely to miss the main event
If I stop to cry or complain again
So I will keep a deliberate pace
Let the damned breeze dry my face

Oh, mister, wait until you see
What I'm gonna be..."

A Better Version of Me - Fiona Apple

The Real Me

********

One of my friends jokes that I am always running around having revelations. She's not wrong. I always think it's funny that she says it like it's a bad thing.

I have indeed been 'running around having revelations' lately, the kind that lead to more than just 'ahas!' but to conclusions to long, drawn out stories.

There is the fact that I no longer want to live a life where my second-hand electronics break once a year and leave me scrambling, a pattern that has held for five years running. That I want to upgrade my dishes and have nicer meal times. That space is something I need to claim in many ways.

There is the little issue of unconscious feeling that I might need to make myself less in order to make others feel better. That revelation was painful because I was not fully aware of where it was happening. Or of the people who really apparently (still) need me to do that. Leading me to believe it may be time to send them, gently and with love, back out into the cosmos to find a better match in energy.

*******

The other day while talking to my life coach about this it came up that I tend to shine bright like the sun, sometimes blinding people without trying to. Though not as unapologetically. I said to her "Does this mean I have to start handing out hats and sunglasses?"

She, flabbergasted, replied "NO! The Sun doesn't hand out hats and sunglasses to everyone!"

Absorbing what she said, I think "What did I just say? Did I really just say that? Because she's so right. This is why I love her."

*******

This week also brought home the fact that the communication issues I've been having with certain people boil down to this; they are communicating with a version of me that no longer exists. They don't know how to respond when I don't push and pull like the old days. My exasperation feels like something different to them than what it is. A need to be seen as I am. A need to be heard in a new way.

What they see is not who I am or who I am yet to evolve into. They haven't quite rolled with that. The same is likely true in the other direction. Caterpillars about to change into different things. Moths or butterflies, each unable to recognize the other.

*******

Conversing with the Universe. Stretching toward the new, the unseen, that fantastic magic that waits, just there on the other side. This is the other side, the side I could never see before. It was only ever blocked by clouds, which blow slowly away with the afternoon wind. Cupping my hand over my eyes, drinking in the warmth from that glorious golden orb in the sky, I think, it's time buy a cute floppy hat.

Don't Change a Thing For Me

As I have been reminded quite a bit over the last year, self care is vital to survival. No matter what else, that always seems so hard for many of us to remember. Self care is vital to survival. We live with pain, angst, being tired and stressed out. We live everyday trying to make other people happy and comfortable all while ignoring our own needs. Our own needs matter, too, sometimes more than those of others. After all, how can we tend to those we love if we are not well?

It's so past time for that to stop.

My big reminder this time around was that there is a difference between being polite and compromising myself. When I am so polite that I allow someone to simply take over my time, cause me stress, cross my boundaries that is a compromise that should never be allowed. It is not acceptable that the sitaution should leave everyone else happy and myself miserable. It is part of the self care ritual: remembering that I matter, too. My comfort is important. My joy matters. And so does yours, my friend.

Try not to put yourself in places where you have to miserable for others to be happy. It isn't okay. It isn't the sort of sacrifice that any one who loves you should ever ask for. While it is wonderful to want to do for others, that should never come at the cost of yourself.

Five Things You Don't Know About Me

1) I changed my last name when I was 20, after much contemplation. It bugged my mother to no end and just confused everyone else. The two biggest reasons? I hated my last name and really craved my own identity. Check and check.

The Raven became part of my totem when I was 11 and believe it or not the deep connection I felt for Celtic mythology in my teens heavily influenced the choice of my last name. My gothic leanings and fascination with death lead me right to the Morrigan. So there you go. http://www.faerie-world.org/tales/deathgoddess.html

2) Singing was my first love and I always dreamed of growing up to be a rock star like Janet Jackson. I walked away from that dream because they kept telling me I needed to lose weight and lighten my hair. Singing means so much to me.....but not enough to lose myself.

This is a song I wrote when I was 18 and recorded about ten years ago. Still get excited when it pops on my mp3 player. 

3) My Meyers Briggs? INFJ. Bet you didn't see that coming.

4) I am a closet girlie girl who loves travel, B movies and photography

5) I wrote my very first poem at the age five about New Orleans. My parents could never figure out how I even knew about it.

Word of the Month for May: Focus

The other day while gazing at last month's new moon board I had a realization: most of that happened.

It feels like things are coming together a little easier. More engagement has been had! I went to this super magical art class. I wrote. I was more active within my online communities. There were some bad days. But all in all? April went pretty well.

So clearly, doing a new board was essential!

New moon? Eclipse? Not movies, baby, but the timing for a new board, new shifting, more magic.....

Messages from the Canvas

*

Isolation is a Dreamkiller. Barbara Sher

                                                                                                                                                   

The Motherload

 I have purple paint under my fingernail. In my mind, I'm still dancing with glitter paint and painting flowers. Paint, paint, paint. I sit at home doing my artwork and wondering, who will like this, who will connect to this, who will care? I suspect that it is the same for many artists.

The choice to go check out an intuitive art class wasn't a conscious one. That was a soul choice, rising up from within, clamoring for something deeper. I was nervous. So used to feeling out of sync with the dynamic in a room. Awkward. The warmth of my welcome was not lost on me. Hmmmm...... I was hugged, I was greeted kindly, I was listened to.

This isn't an art class on a typical level. You aren't there to learn how to draw or paint better. The purpose is get into the work and listen to your inner guide. It is so easy to forget that there is so much wisdom within us. Our inner guides, our intuition has so much to say.

Painting in a quiet room filled with other people is liberating. Knowing that there is someone there to help if you need creates a sense of peace that is needed when getting deep into the process. Which I did. These shifting waves that began in March are still tumbling over me. Still opening me.

And then came a message from the canvas. While I am ready to create more space, this is not a practice I have much experience in. Clearly my subconscious is letting me know that it is time to create something new. It is both exciting and terrifying.

My takeaway from Chris Zydel's Intuitive Art class? That out of syncness doesn't have to exist. This is not a competition. The only person I need to get really vulnerable with in that room is myself. And that is possibly the greatest challenge of all.

Turtlenecks and naps

Last week I once again fell down on the job when it came to self care. Stress levels have been high and self love quite a bit low. My big takeaway from the week is that it is essential to have something to look forward to like my upcoming trip but also my weekly tea date with one of my good friends.

And I did quite a bit of art, too, which helped. I even took the time to do a blank space page in my vision book. During Spirits of Joy I remembered how much I love the whole cutting, pasting, dreaming aspect of vision journals and having prompts was perfect to keep me on track. Some of us need little rituals to help us do the things we know we need to for ourselves. Which is fine as long as we remember to create them.

This week I also wrote my first mini course, which needs to be edited and run through my proofreader before I kick it out for beta. !!!!

 I have no idea what I did here....and I really wish I did. The more I look at her the more love is felt. She is something really special. And out of the ordinary for me!

This week, make sure you take a time out to rest, relax and replenish. Your body will thank you for it!

Good Reminder

"The Universe is literally moment by moment an infinite and endless opportunity machine. But if we are not present in that moment with an open heart we miss the opportunity." 

Marianne Willamson

A Deeper Transformation

It's been quiet over here, I know, crickets chirping quiet. There has been some crisis, both my own and others. And for the past 29 days I have been doing vision book work with the lovely Hannah Marcotti. If you are ready to feel deeply, begin some fresh shifting and are willing to do the work I highly recommend this. Fair warning: this is not a trip for the faint of spirit or heart.

Day 3

 The other day while working on said vision book I caught up with Super Soul Sunday. A year and a half ago while exploring vulnerability Brene Brown was my guide. Listening to her talk about it was a deep reminder of how far I have come & have yet to go on that score. This time she said something about authenticity that had me riveted.

"Authenticity is a choice and you choose it everyday. It's a practice. When you walk into a meeting, you have to make a choice. Am I going to show up and let myself be seen?"

And then Oprah went there. You knew she would.

"When I am inauthentic is when I have allowed myself to be around people who were not (authentic) and then I have to fake it to be with them."

Wince. uh...oh. Ah. AH!!!!!! Aha.

I have remained tied to places and people I no longer feel connection to while slogging through the swamp toward those who call to me. Distancing myself from all sides. Yet somewhere in the process of the last 29 days I can feel that shift that is sending me closer to where I want to go, where I need to go, where I long to go.

Have the hots for the experience of being seen, witnessed and valued- Chris Zydel

This means realigning with my word for the year: more. It means feeling some things out to see where I would like to land. For now. It means shedding some things I don't want or need while picking up some new things. And some old things I dropped along the way that still mean something. Who really knows? What matters is that this is a chance for renewal. And I am ready to take it.

<3

Letta

Encounters of the Confusing Kind

I deleted the post I originally had planned for today. 

It was a little rant about people who think I hate them.

Until I realized that there is something even worse than people thinking I hate them.

People thinking I hate them and wanting to be around me anyway.

cookie hearts

 Disturbing, no? This, in my opinion, sad and confusing. Even worse is the fact that it isn't startling because it is hardly the first time it's happened. In general people who think I hate them tend to want to be around me even more than people who know I love them. 

My original post made me feel as though I had to apologize for someone else's neurosis and I realized I don't. It isn't my job to teach people to love themselves, right? Well, maybe it is. I have spent many years being an evangelist for self love. Anyone who mistreats you doesn't deserve your love, your loyalty or your heart.But. If there is a lot of longing to be around someone you believe you can barely stand you, it might be time for a little therapy.

This week I have a challenge for you: take a serious step back and examine some of your relationships. Are you fruitlessly chasing love? Are you allowing in people who don't make your heart sing to hold said heart in their hands? Are you projecting feelings onto some innocent bystander who is really trying to give you love?

And just so it's on the record, if you ever want to know if I don't like you the answer is really easy: I make no effort to talk to you. Ever. Anywhere. I don't respond to anything you say and if I have to see you face to face and can only talk blandly about the weather....

What love are you pursuing that doesn't honor your heart?

Blackberry: A magazine and a Giveaway!

For the past six months I have been wanting to write more. For the past three months I have been writing more. One of my goals was to submit to Blackberry: A Magazine, the lit magazine by my FB friend Alicia Sommer.

One of the reasons I have been wanting to submit is that I like what I see. More than any other magazine aimed at Black females I feel like this one gets me. Gets that I am not wanting to see a zillion ads for skin lightening cream or hair straightener. One that recognizes I am both reader and writer. One that has flesh, bone and blood.

So in January when I was able to pull together some pieces that would work with the theme I got so excited about submitting that when I was accepted there wasn't a lot of room left to get all crazy. Until Wednesday night when I got this message on FB: Hey S Luna Raven, look who made the cover. :)

Are you kidding me?!

So, I have two poems in this issue and I made the cover. I made the cover. I made the cover. Okay, I think it is safe to say that I am really, really excited!

Now the good for you part: if you buy a copy of the magazine, let me know in the comments so you can be entered to win a signed 5x7 copy of this photo. You can buy either the digital or print version of the mag, you just need to let me know in the comments that you did. That's it! It's so worth it, not only to support me (which I thank you for) but all the other ladies and the fabulous Alicia, who works so hard to make this so great!

The giveaway ends March 8th at Midnight. Don't be shy, tell all your friends!

<3

Luna

A Quiet Heart

This is a post from last March. It seems like a good re-share!

I haven't been able to hear my heart so I haven't been able to get out what I needed to.

This is one of those things that happens to everyone from time to time. It is not always easy to remember to get centered in the heart living in such a busy and fast paced world. And sometimes we can't hear out heart because our brains are simply talking too loud.

When I needed help returning to heart help came in the form of a friend who told me that I inspire her and brighten up her life just by being in it. The full body tingle I felt on hearing that was the wake up call I needed, a reminder that my purpose is deeper and greater than I have ever imagined.

The Heart of the Matter

Sometimes we need reminders of what drives us forward, of what dreams we have forgotten to long for and the influence we may have on other people. Knowing that I touch peoples live simply by existing is pretty powerful. It is powerful in a way that means I am moving in the right direction, even though it might feel a little unnerving.....a little scary even!

Listening to the heart doesn't always feel like you imagine: there may not be the pounding thrill of rushing blood, it may be quiet so you may have really open to hear it. A heart reaching out may only be able to whisper.

Are you listening to your heart? What do you hear?

The Miracle of Love

What if you opened the closed door of your soul a tiny little crack? What would happen?

I suspect love might creep in. It might start out unnoticed. Sooner or later though, it would be to feel expansive. Illuminating. Hopeful.

Love

Is

Yours

For the asking.

The Universe has more than enough to give to every single living being in the whole entire world and still have plenty leftover. Don't feel selfish. Let love in. Unlock the door. Throw open your arms. Let yourself be wapped up in the comforting miracle of love in every form. (Unless it's stalker love. Then run like hell!) You aren't just loveable, my friend. You are love.

But sometimes the 'Verse needs a bit of help. Like that tiny crack I mentioned above. So this Valentine's Day don't worry about a date, or a fancy dinner. Don't worry if you are alone. Because if love can get in, you never really are.