“It is precisely because we resist the darkness in ourselves that we
miss the depths of the loveliness, beauty, brilliance, creativity, and
joy that lie at our core.”
-Thomas Moore, Dark Night of the Soul
***** ***** ***** *****
It wasn't a good feeling to realize that I had no answer. It was a worse feeling to realize that I've been saying that for years yet never had a vision of what my life would look like. A lack of vision isn't something to go through life without. Each and everyday we are here in the world, trying to live day by day. It's just that I am starting to really feel like that has barely kept me going the first half of my life so it sure as hell is not going to work for the second half.
What should my life look like? What should 40 and beyond look like? Well, the good news is I have two years to work through that second question. The first question is being answered now. The other day it hit me that if I start cleaning as though I'm moving it will be easier to pare down things that don't need to move forward with me into the future, especially if there is no longer a connection.
So I'm going to go with another Thomas Moore quote 'Surrender to your stuckness.' Because stuckness is dark, sticky, annoying and more of a work out than I really need right now, but resistance is darker and feels like quicksand. Because stuckness is scary and makes my heart beat faster, but at least I can feel it. Surrender to this moment, to whatever changes are coming, to stuck, to sticky, to dark. Surrender.
It is never too late for a better life, a beautiful life, a more meaningful life. So long as you start where you are, there is always a chance for more. How does any of this create a remarkable life? By leaning into the discovery. Dancing in the arms of intuition, crying, laughing, clearing away clutter, painting, taking pictures. Creating a vision board, starting with a Pinterest board. Creating a remarkable life means opening up to all possibilities, not just the ones I might secretly hope for. Better yet, taking those secret yearnings out of the closet, shaking them out and putting them on.
Are you looking to create a more remarkable life? What steps are you putting in place to make this happen? Share in the comments!
I'm hanging on to the piece about having a vision for your life. We're the same age (I turned 38 in April!) and I realize that I'm a creative person, a little mystic, and a communicator/teacher...My vision is to create, see miracles, and share so that other people can do the same. I think at some point I lost that because in our society, that stuff isn't concrete, and so it isn't a vision. In entrepreneurship, we're told to focus on one thing...what do you do? I get it, but it's not much different than picking a job title and applying...you just get to make up the title. I'm done with that model, as it was really suffocating for me.
ReplyDeleteAnywho...I love, love, love "remarkable" the word always makes me feel sparkly! To create my remarkable life, I'm doing what it sounds like you're doing. I'm calling it "re-curating my life." I've deactivated facebook for a little while, just to hear my own voice again and to shut out my habit to perform old roles. I'm committing to tell my truth, my stories, and create my art....there are lots of pieces to it but I've opened up again instead of narrowing in.
I feel your story deeply as I am much the same. The world really doesn't leave a lot of room for those of who are special in sensitive ways, though more and more it seems we need it!
DeleteYou are remarkable and I LOVE the idea of 're-curating your life'! You have no idea how much I needed that one. So excited to see what comes up for you and glad that I get to be present to see it. <3