Affirming Miracles

Years ago I started down the road toward the law of attraction the way many others did, by listening to Louise Hay, Shakti Gawain and Anthony Robbins. Truthfully affirmations have helped me immensely on many levels which leads me to believe that they can be valuable.

What do you do when the affirmations don't take? Because some of them cannot take root. That is a hard truth because we want to believe that it really can just be that easy. Last year I found myself in the space of using this affirmation: life is easy while finding myself more and more resistant to it. I finally sat down with someone who knows me really well, to see what I might be missing in my exploration.

His response as a long time part of my world shouldn't have surprised me but it did; as I have spent my whole life working for everything I got there is still a part of me that doesn't believe that life is easy for me. I believe it is getting easier. Yes. Yes, I do! There are however enough things beyond my control that need to be changed for me to know that life is not necessarily easy. I was also fighting a money affirmation, which is so not helpful.

So with all that in mind I picked up Sark's Inspiration Sandwich and took a bite. Luckily for me on page 25 the words leaped right off the page and up at me.

"Learn to step lightly from one miracle to the next. Feeling rich is available to anyone, at anytime. Especially you!"

I have been less worried about money since I stopped panicking, started saying yes more often and been willing to enjoy experiences on the off chance that they won't all be the same. Miracles happen. They have happened to me more than once. I may not feel that life is easy but (there I go again!) I can, with confidence move from miracle to miracle with the knowledge that they exist.

What affirmation do you need to recreate? How can recreating a non-working affirmation help move you forward?

Now is the Time to Shift Your Life

Longings

"It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and must hunger after them." George Eliot

                                                ***    ****   ****    ****

What is it about longings that makes us look away in nervous fear? That moment when the thing we desire becomes a far away, impossible dream to be locked up in the heart and never discussed or shared?

I am willing to confess, with sadness, that there has been a lot of burying of desire around here. A lack of joyfilled moments. Stress and worry about money, food, living, thriving has sucked the joy so far out of us that we can no longer face the struggle.

It was in the midst of this heartbreak that I started the Joy Up. I did Spirits of Joy and the Summer Solstice cleanse with some success and uplifting. Yet the same things have been coming up again and again. Money, frustration with various aspects of life, lack of forward movement and opportunity.

Last week a friend from my entrepreneur classes asked if I still get excited about my work and my dream business. Imagine her face when I said 'No. I don't let myself get excited any more."

I don't let myself get excited.

So what else am I not letting myself get excited about?

One of the prompts in the Joy Up was to write a list of longings. Reading other peoples lists and watching the video prompt opened a flood gate. Two pages and a poem later, my clarity is that this is an area of my life that needs more attention. I've been looking for signs the last few days (go left here, drive three blocks, in the center lies your destination) even though I know that life is never that clear, there is a part of me that has been hopeful. Hopeful that things will get clearer, that life will ease up a bit, that my dreams can still be realized.

Longings, to me, look like a huge road sign. Ignoring my desires didn't make them go away. It didn't even make them lessen. It just made me more hungry. You know what happens when you are hungry? You buy junk food, you say mean things, you spend a lot of time tired, sad, lonely, and unclear. My soul is hungry. Your soul is hungry.

What are you longing for that you have chosen to ignore? Today might be a really good day to wake up those desires, have a little chat with them and see which ones will bring you to the place you long to be. Because ignoring desires doesn't kill them. It kills us.

The Longings of the Silent Soul

I long to dance with wild abandon amidst the shifting sands of a gorgeous beach, twirling my skirts and singing my songs

I long to stand on a balcony looking up at the Eiffel Tower at midnight with a glass of the finest champagne

I long to feel so loved and so loving that my heart might burst open, spilling forth more joy than I ever dreamed possible

All this and more

I long to be recognized, seen and celebrated, mostly by my own self

I long to feel close to the divine in all her glory, knowing that she put me here to shine so bright that those around me need sunshades

I long for ease in every moment, long to give up struggle, of taking a deep breath, bringing ease in, everyday

All this and so much more

I long to forgive myself and those who hurt me

I long to live decadently, luxuriously, in sanctuary, exactly as that means to me

I long to be fluid like water, to tell my story, to allow myself to be sacred and know that I am a spark of divine fire

S.M. Raven (c) 2013

There's A Light

It's never comfortable to feel lost. So I spend a lot of time feeling uncomfortable. Unruly. Aware yet half asleep. It doesn't happen for long anymore, thankfully, though I am troubled that it still happens at all.

I know where I get lost. Losing my way is a result of not doing something that brings me joy, something that makes me feel good, something that brings me to a higher elevation. Usually something causes a distraction that knocks me just enough off course that I have to correct. That drives me crazy.

I can laugh about that now because this knowledge is such a gift. Sure, it sometimes feels like driving in circles but now the circles are wider & skirting new neighborhoods. So, that's a start.

When I made the cover of Blackberry: a magazine the first time, I did a give away. You can still grab a copy of this issue and the current one, where I also grace the cover (!) and support this wonderful magazine, a labor of love from the wonderful publisher/editor/bottle-washer Alisha.

I still have a lovely 5x7 copy of the photo and to say thanks for my sponsored spot in the upcoming Joy Up, thought I'd make this gesture to give the second copy to someone. A little something to get me back in the groove, to remind me that taking pictures feels good, that despite the many paths started down that turned out not to be mine, art is. It's okay to lean into that and feel joy around it. To share that love.

Today I feel joyfull to have such an amazing group of women in my world that help me just by existing. My grateful heart is bursting. Leave a comment about something that is bringing you joy today and that's it. I will pick a winner this weekend!

Creating a Remarkable Life

 “It is precisely because we resist the darkness in ourselves that we miss the depths of the loveliness, beauty, brilliance, creativity, and joy that lie at our core.” 

-Thomas Moore, Dark Night of the Soul

***** ***** ***** *****

I've been thinking a lot about my birthday. Not the one I just had. One that is coming up. The reason is a comment about not being where I thought be at 38. My friend, in perfect curiosity asked 'Where did you think you would be?'

It wasn't a good feeling to realize that I had no answer. It was a worse feeling to realize that I've been saying that for years yet never had a vision of what my life would look like. A lack of vision isn't something to go through life without. Each and everyday we are here in the world, trying to live day by day. It's just that I am starting to really feel like that has barely kept me going the first half of my life so it sure as hell is not going to work for the second half.

What should my life look like? What should 40 and beyond look like? Well, the good news is I have two years to work through that second question. The first question is being answered now. The other day it hit me that if I start cleaning as though I'm moving it will be easier to pare down things that don't need to move forward with me into the future, especially if there is no longer a connection.

So I'm going to go with another Thomas Moore quote 'Surrender to your stuckness.' Because stuckness is dark, sticky, annoying and more of a work out than I really need right now, but resistance is darker and feels like quicksand. Because stuckness is scary and makes my heart beat faster, but at least I can feel it. Surrender to this moment, to whatever changes are coming, to stuck, to sticky, to dark. Surrender.

It is never too late for a better life, a beautiful life, a more meaningful life. So long as you start where you are, there is always a chance for more. How does any of this create a remarkable life? By leaning into the discovery. Dancing in the arms of intuition, crying, laughing, clearing away clutter, painting, taking pictures. Creating a vision board, starting with a Pinterest board. Creating a remarkable life means opening up to all possibilities, not just the ones I might secretly hope for. Better yet, taking those secret yearnings out of the closet, shaking them out and putting them on.

Are you looking to create a more remarkable life? What steps are you putting in place to make this happen? Share in the comments!

 

Here It Comes Again

I know why it had to be this way
If you asked me for a label
I would graciously resist

"Here It Comes Again" -Please 

Empire Records Soundtrack

It's that time of year again. Hot weather coming hot on the heels of my birthday. Which was amazing this year!  I got treated to the cocktail spirits carnival and spent a wonderful day with my friends, then I was treated to fabulous ramen with even better company and I got art supplies like you would not believe!

cocktails....

ramen...

art supplies...and a cookbook!

 So the good part is that I have a great life with wonderfully amazing friends. The bad part is that it seems that this is also the time of year when my electronics commit hara-kiri. Okay, so I'm being a tiny bit overdramtic here, but last year at this same time that same laptop died. The motherboard. Again. I do have a laptop that is, well, workable is a word. One could use. In this instance. I guess.

Trying to do homework has been a challenge. Remember how slow your dial up computer was back in the day? Yeah, I know it's a first world problem, but honey there isn't even room to put Word on this thing, let alone Photoshop or a music program. So, in an effort to get myself a new laptop (new new, not used new. That has not worked out for me in, oh, ever) I will be posting my art for sale. At this point I figure, why not? I love to make it, it seems like people love to look at it, so they want to own some of it maybe?

Not to mention that it creates space and the ability for me to create more art & offerings for you! I have a few ecourse ideas noodling around in my brain and hope to have the first one launch by August.

Thanks in advance for your support on this, your cheerleading is always appreciated. Also, if there is something you've seen me post that you don't see listed, drop me a line!

Etsy

Redbubble 
Facebook

<3 Luna

art supplies, baby!

Still the Platypus: Happy Birthday, Me!

Stardate: June 20th, 2013- Captains Log

We have found an elusive creature made of seemingly nonsensical parts. Yet it works so well, a fascinating sight. She is both kind and charming, with a preference for cardigans, good tea and fruit pie. We believe that she has the power to change the world around her. And more. Here are some of her own writings:

While thinking about what to say today, I had several thoughts: how much my life has changed over the last 30 years. My friendships have evolved, much for the better, and  how I see myself much more clearly than I probably ever really have.

Thank you for being a part of my world, I love and appreciate you, more than you know!!

 I am possibility. I am love. I am...the Platypus.

Here It Comes...A Better Version of Me

"I am likely to miss the main event
If I stop to cry or complain again
So I will keep a deliberate pace
Let the damned breeze dry my face

Oh, mister, wait until you see
What I'm gonna be..."

A Better Version of Me - Fiona Apple

The Real Me

********

One of my friends jokes that I am always running around having revelations. She's not wrong. I always think it's funny that she says it like it's a bad thing.

I have indeed been 'running around having revelations' lately, the kind that lead to more than just 'ahas!' but to conclusions to long, drawn out stories.

There is the fact that I no longer want to live a life where my second-hand electronics break once a year and leave me scrambling, a pattern that has held for five years running. That I want to upgrade my dishes and have nicer meal times. That space is something I need to claim in many ways.

There is the little issue of unconscious feeling that I might need to make myself less in order to make others feel better. That revelation was painful because I was not fully aware of where it was happening. Or of the people who really apparently (still) need me to do that. Leading me to believe it may be time to send them, gently and with love, back out into the cosmos to find a better match in energy.

*******

The other day while talking to my life coach about this it came up that I tend to shine bright like the sun, sometimes blinding people without trying to. Though not as unapologetically. I said to her "Does this mean I have to start handing out hats and sunglasses?"

She, flabbergasted, replied "NO! The Sun doesn't hand out hats and sunglasses to everyone!"

Absorbing what she said, I think "What did I just say? Did I really just say that? Because she's so right. This is why I love her."

*******

This week also brought home the fact that the communication issues I've been having with certain people boil down to this; they are communicating with a version of me that no longer exists. They don't know how to respond when I don't push and pull like the old days. My exasperation feels like something different to them than what it is. A need to be seen as I am. A need to be heard in a new way.

What they see is not who I am or who I am yet to evolve into. They haven't quite rolled with that. The same is likely true in the other direction. Caterpillars about to change into different things. Moths or butterflies, each unable to recognize the other.

*******

Conversing with the Universe. Stretching toward the new, the unseen, that fantastic magic that waits, just there on the other side. This is the other side, the side I could never see before. It was only ever blocked by clouds, which blow slowly away with the afternoon wind. Cupping my hand over my eyes, drinking in the warmth from that glorious golden orb in the sky, I think, it's time buy a cute floppy hat.

Conversations With The Universe

I don't meditate much. When I do it seems like most of my time is spent quieting the chatter so I can get clear. Yesterday, ah yesterday. Tragedies of 1st world proportions were happening so I decided that maybe all that chatter might just actually need to be heard.....

    **********

Me: Hey Universe? Can we chat?

Universe: Of course.

Me: So, what gives? I'm working hard, really trying to let my light shine and put myself out there. What happened this past week? It felt a little...much.

Universe: You know. Just checking in.

Me: Checking in? Having me sit in overwhelm before breaking the blender in a freak wind and killing the laptop is checking in?

Universe: It's not a problem if you're committed. You're smart. You'll figure it out.

Me: *sigh* You know, I am so sick of hearing that. Honestly? Sometimes I think you hate me.

Universe: What?!! No way!! In fact, I'm really crazy about you!

Me: Okay, then how about cutting me some slack?

Universe: *snorts* Dollface, I've given you breaks. You really like to do things the hard way.

Me: *blushing* I don't. Actually, ease and flow sound pretty delightful right now.

Universe: So....you're ready for ease?

Me: Oh yes! I get it, you think I can't handle a life without chaos. We have proven that I really can though. I'm not asking for rainbows and Unicorns. Though I'm not oppossed if you feel like you want to toss those in, too.

Universe: Okay, then. More ease it is.

Me: Oh, and more glitter, please.

Universe: *nodding* Unicorns and more glitter. Got it. 

Don't Change a Thing For Me

As I have been reminded quite a bit over the last year, self care is vital to survival. No matter what else, that always seems so hard for many of us to remember. Self care is vital to survival. We live with pain, angst, being tired and stressed out. We live everyday trying to make other people happy and comfortable all while ignoring our own needs. Our own needs matter, too, sometimes more than those of others. After all, how can we tend to those we love if we are not well?

It's so past time for that to stop.

My big reminder this time around was that there is a difference between being polite and compromising myself. When I am so polite that I allow someone to simply take over my time, cause me stress, cross my boundaries that is a compromise that should never be allowed. It is not acceptable that the sitaution should leave everyone else happy and myself miserable. It is part of the self care ritual: remembering that I matter, too. My comfort is important. My joy matters. And so does yours, my friend.

Try not to put yourself in places where you have to miserable for others to be happy. It isn't okay. It isn't the sort of sacrifice that any one who loves you should ever ask for. While it is wonderful to want to do for others, that should never come at the cost of yourself.

Five Things You Don't Know About Me

1) I changed my last name when I was 20, after much contemplation. It bugged my mother to no end and just confused everyone else. The two biggest reasons? I hated my last name and really craved my own identity. Check and check.

The Raven became part of my totem when I was 11 and believe it or not the deep connection I felt for Celtic mythology in my teens heavily influenced the choice of my last name. My gothic leanings and fascination with death lead me right to the Morrigan. So there you go. http://www.faerie-world.org/tales/deathgoddess.html

2) Singing was my first love and I always dreamed of growing up to be a rock star like Janet Jackson. I walked away from that dream because they kept telling me I needed to lose weight and lighten my hair. Singing means so much to me.....but not enough to lose myself.

This is a song I wrote when I was 18 and recorded about ten years ago. Still get excited when it pops on my mp3 player. 

3) My Meyers Briggs? INFJ. Bet you didn't see that coming.

4) I am a closet girlie girl who loves travel, B movies and photography

5) I wrote my very first poem at the age five about New Orleans. My parents could never figure out how I even knew about it.

Word of the Month for May: Focus

The other day while gazing at last month's new moon board I had a realization: most of that happened.

It feels like things are coming together a little easier. More engagement has been had! I went to this super magical art class. I wrote. I was more active within my online communities. There were some bad days. But all in all? April went pretty well.

So clearly, doing a new board was essential!

New moon? Eclipse? Not movies, baby, but the timing for a new board, new shifting, more magic.....

Messages from the Canvas

*

Isolation is a Dreamkiller. Barbara Sher

                                                                                                                                                   

The Motherload

 I have purple paint under my fingernail. In my mind, I'm still dancing with glitter paint and painting flowers. Paint, paint, paint. I sit at home doing my artwork and wondering, who will like this, who will connect to this, who will care? I suspect that it is the same for many artists.

The choice to go check out an intuitive art class wasn't a conscious one. That was a soul choice, rising up from within, clamoring for something deeper. I was nervous. So used to feeling out of sync with the dynamic in a room. Awkward. The warmth of my welcome was not lost on me. Hmmmm...... I was hugged, I was greeted kindly, I was listened to.

This isn't an art class on a typical level. You aren't there to learn how to draw or paint better. The purpose is get into the work and listen to your inner guide. It is so easy to forget that there is so much wisdom within us. Our inner guides, our intuition has so much to say.

Painting in a quiet room filled with other people is liberating. Knowing that there is someone there to help if you need creates a sense of peace that is needed when getting deep into the process. Which I did. These shifting waves that began in March are still tumbling over me. Still opening me.

And then came a message from the canvas. While I am ready to create more space, this is not a practice I have much experience in. Clearly my subconscious is letting me know that it is time to create something new. It is both exciting and terrifying.

My takeaway from Chris Zydel's Intuitive Art class? That out of syncness doesn't have to exist. This is not a competition. The only person I need to get really vulnerable with in that room is myself. And that is possibly the greatest challenge of all.

Turtlenecks and naps

Last week I once again fell down on the job when it came to self care. Stress levels have been high and self love quite a bit low. My big takeaway from the week is that it is essential to have something to look forward to like my upcoming trip but also my weekly tea date with one of my good friends.

And I did quite a bit of art, too, which helped. I even took the time to do a blank space page in my vision book. During Spirits of Joy I remembered how much I love the whole cutting, pasting, dreaming aspect of vision journals and having prompts was perfect to keep me on track. Some of us need little rituals to help us do the things we know we need to for ourselves. Which is fine as long as we remember to create them.

This week I also wrote my first mini course, which needs to be edited and run through my proofreader before I kick it out for beta. !!!!

 I have no idea what I did here....and I really wish I did. The more I look at her the more love is felt. She is something really special. And out of the ordinary for me!

This week, make sure you take a time out to rest, relax and replenish. Your body will thank you for it!

Good Reminder

"The Universe is literally moment by moment an infinite and endless opportunity machine. But if we are not present in that moment with an open heart we miss the opportunity." 

Marianne Willamson

A Deeper Transformation

It's been quiet over here, I know, crickets chirping quiet. There has been some crisis, both my own and others. And for the past 29 days I have been doing vision book work with the lovely Hannah Marcotti. If you are ready to feel deeply, begin some fresh shifting and are willing to do the work I highly recommend this. Fair warning: this is not a trip for the faint of spirit or heart.

Day 3

 The other day while working on said vision book I caught up with Super Soul Sunday. A year and a half ago while exploring vulnerability Brene Brown was my guide. Listening to her talk about it was a deep reminder of how far I have come & have yet to go on that score. This time she said something about authenticity that had me riveted.

"Authenticity is a choice and you choose it everyday. It's a practice. When you walk into a meeting, you have to make a choice. Am I going to show up and let myself be seen?"

And then Oprah went there. You knew she would.

"When I am inauthentic is when I have allowed myself to be around people who were not (authentic) and then I have to fake it to be with them."

Wince. uh...oh. Ah. AH!!!!!! Aha.

I have remained tied to places and people I no longer feel connection to while slogging through the swamp toward those who call to me. Distancing myself from all sides. Yet somewhere in the process of the last 29 days I can feel that shift that is sending me closer to where I want to go, where I need to go, where I long to go.

Have the hots for the experience of being seen, witnessed and valued- Chris Zydel

This means realigning with my word for the year: more. It means feeling some things out to see where I would like to land. For now. It means shedding some things I don't want or need while picking up some new things. And some old things I dropped along the way that still mean something. Who really knows? What matters is that this is a chance for renewal. And I am ready to take it.

<3

Letta

Blackberry: A magazine and a Giveaway!

For the past six months I have been wanting to write more. For the past three months I have been writing more. One of my goals was to submit to Blackberry: A Magazine, the lit magazine by my FB friend Alicia Sommer.

One of the reasons I have been wanting to submit is that I like what I see. More than any other magazine aimed at Black females I feel like this one gets me. Gets that I am not wanting to see a zillion ads for skin lightening cream or hair straightener. One that recognizes I am both reader and writer. One that has flesh, bone and blood.

So in January when I was able to pull together some pieces that would work with the theme I got so excited about submitting that when I was accepted there wasn't a lot of room left to get all crazy. Until Wednesday night when I got this message on FB: Hey S Luna Raven, look who made the cover. :)

Are you kidding me?!

So, I have two poems in this issue and I made the cover. I made the cover. I made the cover. Okay, I think it is safe to say that I am really, really excited!

Now the good for you part: if you buy a copy of the magazine, let me know in the comments so you can be entered to win a signed 5x7 copy of this photo. You can buy either the digital or print version of the mag, you just need to let me know in the comments that you did. That's it! It's so worth it, not only to support me (which I thank you for) but all the other ladies and the fabulous Alicia, who works so hard to make this so great!

The giveaway ends March 8th at Midnight. Don't be shy, tell all your friends!

<3

Luna

A Quiet Heart

This is a post from last March. It seems like a good re-share!

I haven't been able to hear my heart so I haven't been able to get out what I needed to.

This is one of those things that happens to everyone from time to time. It is not always easy to remember to get centered in the heart living in such a busy and fast paced world. And sometimes we can't hear out heart because our brains are simply talking too loud.

When I needed help returning to heart help came in the form of a friend who told me that I inspire her and brighten up her life just by being in it. The full body tingle I felt on hearing that was the wake up call I needed, a reminder that my purpose is deeper and greater than I have ever imagined.

The Heart of the Matter

Sometimes we need reminders of what drives us forward, of what dreams we have forgotten to long for and the influence we may have on other people. Knowing that I touch peoples live simply by existing is pretty powerful. It is powerful in a way that means I am moving in the right direction, even though it might feel a little unnerving.....a little scary even!

Listening to the heart doesn't always feel like you imagine: there may not be the pounding thrill of rushing blood, it may be quiet so you may have really open to hear it. A heart reaching out may only be able to whisper.

Are you listening to your heart? What do you hear?

The 2013 Life List

Can you believe it? Here we are at year number four of creating the life list. The original was inspired by Traca Savadogo and has evolved from there. Some things have been easy to cross off the list (learning to draw, taking up crochet, sewing classes) while some have remained a bit elusive like that trip to France...

This year I decided to take a look to see what I really wanted to keep, what I needed to add and what I am no longer moved by. This is me, now 37 and a half (what, if my six year niece can rock it, so can I!) and ready to really live more fully. According to my own standards!

My 2013 Life List is not about what I want to do before 2014. It is about what I want to do with my life. One of my all time favorite quotes Opportunities multiply as they are seized by Sun Tzu seems so apt here. They are easy to get when you reach out and grab them! Be sure to share what goals you are adding to your life list, I would love to see!

1) passport.....The paperwork is filled out! Just need the pictures and to pay the fee!

2) practice tea blending. I played around a bit last year, it's time to get serious! (see #11)

3) crochet clothes. I really need to make myself some sweaters!

4) Do more diy, canning, cocktails, accessories. Life skills, baby.

5) Visit Portland. Which will happen soon so I can hang out with this guy. He says it is best to come in the spring.

6) learn to spin fiber. My amazing friend Maia from Tactile Fibers is teaching me. I am not yet good.

7) Move more. Pilates, dancing, yoga. Whatever gets me moving I want more of it.

8) Archery and knife throwing. I can already hear the cries of terror. Haha!

9) Take Thai, Indian and Chinese cooking classes

10) Eat at August. Eat at Herbfarm.

11) Own a tea shop that is craft store adjacent.

12) Record an album of my songs.

13) Publish my books (short stories, poetry, cookbooks? sure)

14) Host my own TV show

15) Become a better swimmer

16)  Become more minimalist

17) sell more of my art

18) Learn to play an instrument

19) Travel! The Pyramids, Seattle, Alaska, the Caribbean, Hungary, Greece, Spain, Paris, New York, Ireland, Britain, Santa Fe, Amsterdam, Tokyo, Russia, the South of France, my beloved N'Awlins. Oh hell, I'm changing it to 'Become a jet setter.'

20) Get back into pastry. I want to play with Austrian and Hungarian pastry. And make more candy!

21) Immerse myself in art. Drawing, painting, photography.

22) Be kinder to my inner child. Thankfully, I am already more compassionate to my outer adult.

23) Become a better sewer and make my own clothes

24) do more diy skincare. Because I don't want to live in a bubble!

25) Go fan girl on Pierre Herme. I went fan girl on Emily Luchetti in 2012. She was so sweet!

26) Get a bicycle

27) Move into a nicer space

28) Give in to my inner girlie girl.

What are you ready to add or remove from your life list? What things are you ready to tackle for a fuller expression of life?