Don't Change a Thing For Me

As I have been reminded quite a bit over the last year, self care is vital to survival. No matter what else, that always seems so hard for many of us to remember. Self care is vital to survival. We live with pain, angst, being tired and stressed out. We live everyday trying to make other people happy and comfortable all while ignoring our own needs. Our own needs matter, too, sometimes more than those of others. After all, how can we tend to those we love if we are not well?

It's so past time for that to stop.

My big reminder this time around was that there is a difference between being polite and compromising myself. When I am so polite that I allow someone to simply take over my time, cause me stress, cross my boundaries that is a compromise that should never be allowed. It is not acceptable that the sitaution should leave everyone else happy and myself miserable. It is part of the self care ritual: remembering that I matter, too. My comfort is important. My joy matters. And so does yours, my friend.

Try not to put yourself in places where you have to miserable for others to be happy. It isn't okay. It isn't the sort of sacrifice that any one who loves you should ever ask for. While it is wonderful to want to do for others, that should never come at the cost of yourself.

Messages from the Canvas

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Isolation is a Dreamkiller. Barbara Sher

                                                                                                                                                   

The Motherload

 I have purple paint under my fingernail. In my mind, I'm still dancing with glitter paint and painting flowers. Paint, paint, paint. I sit at home doing my artwork and wondering, who will like this, who will connect to this, who will care? I suspect that it is the same for many artists.

The choice to go check out an intuitive art class wasn't a conscious one. That was a soul choice, rising up from within, clamoring for something deeper. I was nervous. So used to feeling out of sync with the dynamic in a room. Awkward. The warmth of my welcome was not lost on me. Hmmmm...... I was hugged, I was greeted kindly, I was listened to.

This isn't an art class on a typical level. You aren't there to learn how to draw or paint better. The purpose is get into the work and listen to your inner guide. It is so easy to forget that there is so much wisdom within us. Our inner guides, our intuition has so much to say.

Painting in a quiet room filled with other people is liberating. Knowing that there is someone there to help if you need creates a sense of peace that is needed when getting deep into the process. Which I did. These shifting waves that began in March are still tumbling over me. Still opening me.

And then came a message from the canvas. While I am ready to create more space, this is not a practice I have much experience in. Clearly my subconscious is letting me know that it is time to create something new. It is both exciting and terrifying.

My takeaway from Chris Zydel's Intuitive Art class? That out of syncness doesn't have to exist. This is not a competition. The only person I need to get really vulnerable with in that room is myself. And that is possibly the greatest challenge of all.

The 2012 'Did It' List

Last year I created a 'Did It' list inspired by this post and it helped muchly. Most of my life has been spent listening to people say 'She just doesn't live up to her potential', leaving me with the feeling that no matter I do it is never enough. The beauty of the 'did it' list is that I can see fully what I have done. I can celebrate myself with a pat on the back because that makes me more. And the best part is that thanks to my life coach I keep track of what I have done week to week. For myself. To create space to give myself room to grow. I think you should do it to.

I have also spent the last year looking for clues about what I am meant to do next and the yearning has slowly but surely made itself clear. In the New Year I fully intend to follow that line of thought and see where it goes. Realizing that the path is never straight, being filled as it is with detours! Make a list of the things you have done, fully recognize it and then give yourself a break. It's been a rough year for many but we made it through. I'm sharing the list with you not to brag but because what I have discovered is that celebrating your successes is not vain, it is vital.

In 2012 I:

*Read a ridiculous amount of books. I really liked Georgette Heyer, Inspiration Sandwich, and the Science of Getting Rich
 

*Started a knit/crochet with my friend Anna (it will be back in 2013!)

*Practiced good self care and compassion. Which has created a huge shift in how I feel about myself. And others.

*Crocheted scarves. And pins. And more.

*Did Pilates. And it kicked my ass. I loved it!!
 

*Took a belly dancing class.

*Wrote a few poems & songs. Started a couple short stories. Worked on my book(s).
 

*Created my first digital download.
 

*Attended Stitches West for the first time. It was pretty fabulous. I, of course, bought the weirdest stuff I could find to crochet with.
 

*Drew, painted and doodled. A lot.

*Sent my first newsletter
 

*Met one of my chef crushes, the delightful Emily Luchetti
 

*Got a sewing machine. Which I still haven't used.
 

*Went to bartending school! I even bartended at the U.S. Open.
 

*got a job (after two years off. yay!)

*was in my first cocktail competition. It was a real eye opening experience. Turns out I do like competition in the right context.

*bought my first corset (it's the French Underbust in red satin!)

*Took better care of my health than ever before. Healthy fruits and vegetable smoothies!I took naps and breaks when I needed them. Crazy, I know.

What wonderful things did you do this last year that you are ready to celebrate? I invite you to share, I would love to celebrate you and all you do! If you blog about it let me know so I can link to you! And if you want to check out another 'did it' list, visit Stephanie and see what she did this year. An amazing amount of good!! 

I Move in Joyous Abundance

the art in my office

What makes you feel joyful and abundant?

How can you create more of that?

Wordless Wednesday: In The Meantime

This lovely painting needs a good home. Give a shout if interested.

In progress....

also in progress.....

My First Etsy Sale and Daylight savings

I made my first sale on Etsy! I am pretty excited that the buyer bought what is truly one of my favorite pieces. You know how much I love things that sparkle & shine! And it feels good to have made my first sale!

 Last week was rough because everyone has been sick. Weirdly being sick made more focused so I did four paintings and started a crochet bag as well as working on my crocheted baby sweater. I sadly had to scrap one of the paintings due to the paper but that is still the survival of three I am really happy with!

I am also convinced that I am the only person I know who is excited about daylight savings time. For me it is a time of more light which equals more freedom. When I was younger I had to drive mom around in the winter due to her night blindness. It meant that my winter was never my own and the early dark still makes me a little sad. I never feel like I have lost an hour so much as I have gained more time over all.

My neighborhood at sunset

What successes are you celebrating this week?

Crochet, shading, art!

This past two weeks or so I have been drawing & painting as well as doing crochet. I'm shifting in several ways and trying to find the balance of being really busy and still getting everything done!

Red crochet brooch

I frogged this scarf and redid it with great results!

Still working on colored pencil shading. I love her so far!

I have also been getting back my waning kitchen mojo and made perfect chocolate chip cookies the other night! And this weekend is the Chocolate Salon, so I will let you know what new goodies I find.

How are you getting back your mojo or balance? What's striking a cord in you right now?

Life in the Details

Lately when I have been reading the Scoutie Girl blog I feel as though each post is speaking directly to me. Like this one Well Fed Artists and this one today Are you leaving enough space for your life in your work?

I am looking at my calender for the next few weeks and things are starting to pick up again. And truthfully, the past two weeks, my balance has been off. Way off. Since I love being busy, I need to be much more aware and keep myself check: no matter how much I have to do I need to make sure I am eating right and stopping when my body says stop.

Scarf action with ArtFibers fabulous Kanji, tussah silk and bamboo

Luckily every week before my coaching call, I have to journal about what I have done in the last week. This has been one of the most powerful tools anyone has ever shared with me. In my mind I am a slacker. In my journal it would appear that I do so much I can't even remember half of it! If you haven't tried this you might find it a really helpful trick.

I have been busy crocheting, too, but not too busy to get in some art....

Are you listening to yourself to make sure that your life is in line with your busy? What tricks do you use to make things easier?