How To: Be Free of Flakes

Bet you thought this was going to be a post on dandruff, huh? Well, it is and it isn't. You see if you have flakes in your life it is because you haven't taken the proper amount of care to rid yourself of them. When flakes are on your head you need to use a medicated shampoo, get a good clarifier and really work that scalp.

When you have flakes in your life you have to use a medicated....oh wait. So how does one remove flakes from life?

Stop putting up with it. If there are people in your world who don't make you feel better, smarter, elevated, loved, inspired, strong, trusted, well liked and confident at least 90% of the time, get rid of them. Yeah, I said it, get rid of them. 10% off is all you are willing to give to this behavior and even that number is too high! Don't call them. Don't make plans with them. Take them out of your FB news feed. I don't mean you have to get nasty and start calling people names. But you might want to own that if these flakes have been around for a while it is because they have repeatedly been allowed to behave in a certain manner.

Don't think you are being held hostage by other people. You are being held hostage by you.

Only you really know what is acceptable in your life and what is not. And thus only you can create and set boundaries. There might even be people in your life who think you're the flake! Something to consider. Scary, isn't it?

It isn't as hard as you think to create room for new people, new situations but it can be hard to adjust with the old ones. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves.

If there are a lot of people in your life that you can never rely yet who always rely on you, the balance of power is clear and you have none of it. If there are people in your life who think they can break plans all the time at the last minute and you continue to make plans with them, well my dear, that is really on you.

Becoming clear on what you want in your life will be much more effective than focusing on what you don't. Control your experience by actively participating in it. Clear out flaky friends the same way you would clear out your refrigerator or the kitchen cabinets: one shelf at a time.

Are you surrounded by people who don't respect your standards and boundaries? Why? What purpose do you feel they serve in your life that allows that disregard to remain?

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